One Thing Remains

I'm getting ready to turn 19 in less than two weeks, that in itself is huge for me. I'm suddenly entering my last year as a teenager and am now considered somewhat of an adult. With this age comes the worries of growing up, something which is extremely exciting and terrifying all at the same time. It is a time when I am beginning to feel the insecurities of adulthood. What if I don't get a job? What if I run out of money and can't complete school? What if I don't find that special someone and I never settle down with the picture perfect family I have dreamed of for a lot of my life? These insecurities can drive us up walls and the older I get the more unstable I view life on this planet. I could wake up to a totally different world tomorrow. I often wonder if I lost everything  would I still be able to lift my hands and say "God you are good and always are good". We can lose things as quickly as we gain them; possessions, money, even people.

"Don't let your happiness depend on something you may lose" - C. S. Lewis

Life is, at best, an uncertain game. We never know what we could be dealt and this is both the fun and torture of the game. But I am so thankful for a consistent God in among this chaotic mess. I have been promised that even though this world changes, people are fickle and I could lose everything in a heartbeat that my God will never leave nor forsake me, that his love never changes and that as long as I delight in Him He will always take care of me. 

Psalm 37:4 "Delight yourselves in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart"

Coming up to 19 years and the biggest lesson I have learned is that God is the only consistent in my life. I know that when I wake up He will love me just the same as He did today. I know He will always love me and be in love with me each and everyday, that I could curse at Him tonight and although extremely wounded it wouldn't affect how He feels towards me at all. This pure, selfless and sacrificial love which we look for in so many people, we already have and we will never find a love like this anywhere or in any person. I would rather devote myself to Him than to any other notion, person or possession. This life is so uncertain, and I am not saying that following God is a smooth ride and that I will live comfortably for the rest of my life. Never did I dream that I would end up 4000 miles from home for 4 years, and the fact I have no idea where the next stop is after this one, but you know what? I'm more than okay with that, because I know and believe that I have a God who wants nothing but the best for me, that His love for me is the only thing I can trust and that it will never fail me.